The Brotherhood and the Shrink
by Race Baj 2.0
Summary: The Brotherhood see a Psychiatrist, Fred, Pietro, and Lance's chapters are up
1. Toad

Toad's Analysis

by Race Baj

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution or any of the characters

  
  


"I do not need a shrink!" Toad protested as Mystique (in her disguise as Mrs. Darkholme) dragged him into a Psychiatrists office. She ordered him to sit on a chair in the waiting room and he did, moments later a woman opened the door to a office that said Mrs. Smith.

"Mr. Tolansky?" The woman waved him into the office. Toad hopped in and lay down on one of those Psychiatrist's couches.

"Ok lets get to know each other. My name is Mrs. Jennifer Smith, and you."

"You already know loads of crap about me, Darkholme already gave you that folder."

"Yes but it will make you feel more comfortable."

"No it won't."

"Then humor me!"

"Fine, whatever my name is Ludwig Von Richten."

"Alright." She began to write on her notebook. "Todd Tolan- Hey! Wait a minute, that's not right."

"What's not?"

"That name!"

"What's wrong with your name?"

"Not my name, your name!"

"What's the matter with my name?"

"Its not Ludwig Von Richten!"

"What? Of course it isn't."

"But you said it was!"

"No, you asked me my name and all the sudden it was wrong."

"That's cause you told me it was Ludwig Von Richten!"

"And it isn't?"

"No it isn't!"

"What is it then?"

"Todd Tolansky!"

"That's my name don't wear it out."

"Argh! Enough!"

"Enough of what?"

"Talking about your name!"

"We were talking about my name?"

"Yes!"

"I thought we were talking about your name?"

"Stop!"

"Go!"

"What?"

"I understand completely."

"What are you doing?"

"I know exactly what you're doing."

"Cut that out!"

"Tape it back in!"

"Todd Tolansky what are you doing?"

"My name is Ludwig Von-"

"I don't care what your name is just tell me what your doing!"

"That thing where I say the apposite of what you say, I thought it would help."

"Well it doesn't!"

"Ok."

"Now... Ludwig-"

"Todd."

"Ok Todd." The Psychiatrist said, her voice cracking. "Tell me, do you ever feel stressed?"

"Oh all the time, like this time where Lance said it was time to go out for pizza, but it was my turn to pick where we go, and he said it wasn't, and I said it was, then he said it wasn't, and I said it was, then he said it wasn't, and I said it was, then he said it was, and I said it wasn't, then he said see, you agree with me. Then I said no I don't, then he said, yes you do, then I said no I don't, then he said, yes you do, then I said no I don't, then he said, yes you do, then I said-"

"Enough!" The psychiatrist shouted.

"Exactly, then I said enough!"

"Todd no more!"

"Its Ludwig."

"Fine! Fine! I don't care! Your name is Ludwig! It doesn't matter!" Just then Mystique opened the door and popped her head in.

"Are you bothering the Psychiatrist Todd?" She asked. That was it."

"Ahhh!" The Psychiatrist screamed as she leaped out the window. Todd and Mrs. Darkholme looked out the window to see the Psychiatrist laying on the ground (luckily her office was on the first floor) crying.

"Boy, and you thought I was the one who needed a Shrink." Todd said, putting on his best suck-up smile, but it didn't sooth Mystique's anger. "I think I'll be running in terror now." Todd screamed as he jumped out the window, followed by Mystique.


	2. Fred

Fred's Analysis

by Race Baj

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution or any of the characters

  
  


"You better be a lot more behaved then Toad!" Mystique demanded as Fred came into the waiting room. He sat down and sighed, it was a rather long wait finally the Psychiatrist came out and told Fred to come in.

"No Mr. Dukes, how are you."

"Oh! Todd says you like playing the name game, I wanna be Martin."

"No! I mean, no Fred, instead we are going to play a game."

"Oh goody, and its Martin."

"No it isn't!"

"Should you be yelling at a person who is supposed to be having Psychological problems?" Fred asked as tears welded up in his eyes. "All my life its been 'look at the large fat kid with the Psychological problems', and your not making things easier!"

"But-"

"Its not fair! No one likes me! No one listens to me! No one understands me!" Fred was now into a full fledged whine and the Psychiatrist didn't know what to do. "You are being so mean, and after all, I must have problems or why would I be here! Why!" Fred now stood to his feet and grabbed the Psychiatrist by the shoulders and was shaking her.

"Please, don't hurt me." She meekly said.

"That's another thing, just cause I'm big doesn't mean I hurt people! I'm like a big teddy bear! But sometimes I want to rip the stuffing out of everything that lives!" Fred was growling now, all the sudden he stopped and smiled. "But you said something about a game!" Fred sat down and the Psychiatrist, while surprised tried to look professional and sat down. 

"Yes Fred, I will say a word, and you tell me the first word that pops into your mind."

"Oh goody."

"Alright. Eyes."

"Explosions."

"School."

"Earthquakes."

"Blue."

"Demons."

"Mountains."

"Plummeting."

"Home."

"Collapsing."

"Oh my lord, what a disturbed mind you must have." The psychiatrist said shocked.

"But this is so fun, try some more."

"Field."

"Flowers."

"Forest."

"Teddy Bears."

"Now hold on!"

"What?"

"What happened to this disturbed angered person?"

"What disturbed angered person?"

"There was a disturbed angered person here?"

"You!"

"You?"

"No you!"

"Me!"

"Yes me, no I mean you, I mean... what were we even talking about!" The Psychiatrist now was sobbing in frustration.

"But I'm the one with mental issues." Just then Mystique looked in.

"Fred what did you do to her?" 

"We played the word game, I think I'm cured." Fred happily walked out of the office.

"Is he?" Mystique asked surprised.

"It would take a gun to cure him!" The psychiatrist sobbed, not looking up."


	3. Pietro

Fred's Analysis

by Race Baj

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution or any of the characters

  
  


Mystique grumbled as her and Pietro walked in they sat down and Pietro grabbed a magazine and leafed through it, with a disgusted look he threw it behind him and waited. Soon after Mrs. Smith (the psychiatrist) walked out and told Pietro to come in.

"You know." Pietro said, when he got in and sat down. "You really have terrible magazines."

"Yes Pietro, but we're here to talk about you."

"As much as I love talking about me, you seriously need to get some new ones. Who can get in the mood to have a psychological evaluation, without good magazines. Now if you have something with the words weekly written after it, that would be a good magazine, or something with me in it would be even better."

"Enough!"

"Enough what?"

"Enough about the magazines!"

"What magazines, but speaking of it, did you know you really have terrible magazines? You seriously need to get some new ones. Who can get in the mood to have a psychological evaluation, without good magazines. Now if-"

"Stop it!"

"Stop what, all that's been happening is you talking about your stupid magazines."

"That was you!"

"It was?"

"Yes, it was you?"

"Which one am I again."

"You are you!"

"Which one? The you or the other you?"

"There is no other you!"

"So you is me and I am you?"

"Stop that!"

"Stop you."

"Whatever it is you are doing!"

"So I am the you?"

"Yes!"

"I though I was the me?"

"You are the you and the me!"

"I'm you and me?"

"I don't know anymore!"

"You know, I think you may be a bit schizophrenic."

"I am not!"

"Why don't you tell me about your childhood?"

"Because I'm the shrink, err- Psychiatrist!"

"Now, now, no reason to be in denial."

"About what?"

"About you being me."

"You are you!"

"So I'm you now?"

"No!"

"What are you even talking about?"

"I don't know!" By now the Psychiatrist was burying her face in her hands.

"Then why do you keep bringing it up?"

"That's enough!" The psychiatrist straightened herself and took on a posture of authority. "Now Pietro, do you feel any hostilities do your family?"

"Well yeah, I mean, my dad is out trying to conquer humanity all the time, no father son relationship. 'Dad do you want to play catch?' 'Oh no son, I have to out due Professor X, after all, he wants peace' That's always how it is!"

"Now Pietro, could this conquering humanity be a mask you have put on your fathers actions, to protect yourself from the truth?"

"No."

"But Pietro, your father can't really be trying to do that, could he?"

"Oh yeah, if it wasn't for the X-Men he could do it no problem."

"Pietro this won't work if you don't open up to the truth."

"Maybe you have to open up to the truth."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you keep telling me all this nonsense of my father trying to conquer humanity."

"But- that was you."

"This will never work if you keep being in denial."

"But you're the one who keeps talking."

"They say the memory is the first thing to go."

"My memory is fine!"

"Ok then, what's my name?"

"Pietro Maximoff."

"Actually is Mark Stancfield."

"Not his again! Mrs. Darkholme!"

"Yes?" Mystique said coming in.

"Get him out of here."

"Yes, come on. At least you were sane enough to keep here from having a nervous breakdown."

"Good bye Dr. Smith, and if you have any problems, call me and we can schedule another appointment. Pietro said as they exited the office, and closed the door to the muffled screams of the Psychiatrist.


	4. Lance

Fred's Analysis

by Race Baj

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution or any of the characters

  
  


"Ok, lets get this over with." Lance angrily said as he took his turn in the waiting room with Mystique. The wait was longer then ever before Mrs. Smith told Lance to come in. He walked in the room and an empty bottle of scotch sat on the table. "Any left?" He asked.

"Huh? No!" The psychiatrist said shoving the bottle in her desk.

"Is it ok to be drinking if you're a Psychiatrist?"

"Yes."

"So downing a bottle of Scotch is ok?"

"No!"

"But you do it."

"But- I-"

"You think because you're a Psychiatrist it gives you some sort of immunity?"

"Well no."

"So you think that your special? That drinking heavily is ok for you?"

"Uh, no."

"I mean, you're a Doctor, your supposed to make people healthy."

"I'm not that kind of Doctor!"

"So you were to lazy to put effort into it?"

"No."

"That's what you said."

"No I didn't."

"Then why didn't you become that kind of doctor?"

"Because I am intrigued by the mind!"

"Did it come from some Psychological problem as a child?"

"No! I will ask the questions."

"Then why didn't you say anything."

"Alright Mr. Alvers, I will show you some pictures, and you tell me what you see." The psychiatrist grabbed some cards with ink blotches on them and showed them to Lance.

"Kitty, Kitty sitting on a bench, Kitty laying under a tree, Kitty waving. Kitty taking a shower! Whoa do you think its right to show pictures like that to people?"

"What?" The psychiatrist turned the card and looked it over, finding it looked nothing like what Lance had said.

"You should be ashamed, is this a Psychiatrist or a pornography photo store."

"But-"

"Teenagers have impressionable minds you know!"

"I am aware but-"

"Would you like me to go around showing people things like that? Nudity?"

"No but-"

"Can't you keep your mind off that for one second?"

"But I didn't mean-"

"Stop it!"

"But-"

"Enough!"

"But-"

"You have a sick mind!"

"Mr. Alvers sit down!"

"Now your yelling at me."

"I am not yelling."

"You were yelling."

"I was not yelling!"

"You're yelling now."

"You are right." She replied trying to sound professional again, "however you need to co-operate."

"I don't like the idea of co-operating with a drunk."

"I am not a drunk."

"Oh so you keep empty bottles of scotch in your office as vases?"

"No but-"

"There you go, bringing up the pornography again."

"Please, I just want to ask you a few questions."

"Are they decent?"

"Yes."

"Alright then."

"Now, do you have problem at home."

"Oh yeah, like when I'm in the shower, and someone runs the water, and I get the blast of hot or cold water."

"I mean serious problems."

"It is serious! It may have deep insight to my mental anguish and you're going to toss it aside?"

"Mr. Alvers I deeply doubt your mental anguish has anything to do with the shower."

"Doctor Smith, you are being very unprofessional, thinking you know it all."

"I do not know everything."

"Then write what I say down."

"But its pointless."

"There you go with that butt stuff again, I though you said it was decent."

"It was, however I- then you- then I- oh just get out!" The Psychiatrist groaned. As Lance closed the door she removed a bottle of scotch from behind a book in her bookcase.

"Ah ha!" Lance shouted as he burst the door open.

"Out!"


End file.
